


The Kids Are Alright

by euromagpie



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, hinata and kiba love shino so much, shino has problems but they get resolved THROUGH THE POWER OF LOVE, we need more platonic sibling team eights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 02:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4417673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euromagpie/pseuds/euromagpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The kids might be alright, but Shino really really isnt. So he's either got to suck it up and ask for help, or be suck in a depressive, self destructive spiral. Will he, won't he? <br/>(hint: look at the tags)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kids Are Alright

**I had this idea that genjutsu could basically show you the most horrific thing you could think of, yeah? So I bet that a lot more ninja come back from missions suffering of PTSD from genjutsu more than from physical battle. That kind of thing probably leaves a scar.**

**So, PTSD warning, and warning for bugs, because, well _Shino_.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

 

When Team Eight returned from the disastrous mission, Hinata flinching at every sound and Kiba still clutching at Akamaru’s fur with trembling fists, Shino’s team-mates were forced to visit a psych-nin by Kurenai. She hadn’t taken their denials to heart, instead frogmarching the two chuunin straight to T&I, where the psychology department regularly played therapist to shinobi suffering after effects of missions.

Shino was calm as always, words rare, but precise as they were wont to be, voice low and steady. Shino didn’t need to visit psych, because Shino was always alright.

Shino was always alright.

 

_The sun shone down on the three chuunin as they danced around the training ground, trading parries and strikes in a three-way practice match. Under the natural light, Hinata’s hair flickered between black and violet and a warm brown. As he sprinted towards Shino, Kiba’s teeth flashed, pure white like Akamaru’s fur, whipping through the air as he bounded alongside his partner. Through his sunglasses, the world usually looked washed out, under filters of grey, but today Shino appreciated the unusual sharpness of his friends’ colours, their vibrance._

_Reacting in a split second, Shino blocked a high kick by Hinata, tremours shaking through his arm at the force. Under his coat he grinned secretly – the thrum of adrenaline through his body was sending the kikaichu into a frenzy, making him feel alive. His other side was suddenly attacked by Kiba and Akamaru, and he hopped back a few paces to avoid their snapping jaws, both changing direction with him, loping into another attack. He tucked and rolled under their claws, and came up whirling a kunai at Hinata, who dodged-_

_Who didn’t dodge. An arch of blood splashed through the air as Hinata yelled in pain. In a split second the sky had darkened, Shino’s grin had melted from his face and KIba had thrown himself in between his two team-mates. Claws out, he was crouched facing Shino, baring his canines like a feral dog. He growled at Shino._

_“What the fuck!” He spat. Shino hesitated, eyes flicking from Shino to Hinata, whose curtain of hair obscured her face. He took a step towards her, hand stretched out to comfort._

_“Hin-“ His hand was slapped away._

_“Stay the fuck away from her, you- you freak!” Kiba hissed. Beside him, Akamaru mimicked his partner’s stance._

_Suddenly, Shino saw red. If there was one sure fire way of getting the young man angry, it was to call him a freak._

_Out of nowhere, Shino’s anger exploded from within, spilling over into clouds of bloodthirsty kikaichu. They rose from his body in threatening puffs. Responding to Shino’s anger they dove forwards, enveloping his friends in seconds. Shino’s ears were assaulted with the screams and howls as the creatures consumed their prey. In an instant Shino was overwhelmed with fear – he panicked, calling his bugs back from their attack but they were unresponsive, digging into the meal set out before them. He stepped forwards to help his friends, but the kikaichu were now retreating, re-settling into Shino’s skin, sated._

_With trepidation, Shino approached his friends, lying in a huddle on the blackened training ground grass. He reared back at the sight that greeted him; the bugs had done their work. They had drained their victims of their essential chakra, down to the smallest drops making their hearts beat and lungs pump, leaving them grey faced and bug eyed, his friends’ limp figures frozen in their death throes, staring at him in accusation why Shino-_

Shino woke with a yell, rolling over to promptly be sick over the edge of his bed. He propped himself up on shaking arms, staring down at his skin, dotted with the small scars of kikaichu leaving and entering his body. Since he was three, his body had been host to the clan’s bugs, and his control over them was unquestionable. Never had he doubted that he could reign in his kikaichu when needed – until now. Ever since _that_ mission, now a week ago, he was hesitant to release his bugs. It was irrational; logically, Shino knew that his bugs would never get as out of control as to attack friends. But the genjutsu trap his team had been caught in…it had sown the seeds of doubt in the boy’s mind. Even the crawl of them inside his chakra veins had him on edge. Just because they’d never betrayed him before didn’t mean they never _could_.

He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the illogical thoughts that clouded the night. He looked out of the window and saw the moon was still high in the sky – he must have only been asleep for an hour or so, just like every night the past week. With a frustrated huff, Shino got out of bed and fetched the cleaning supplies, trying to be quiet as he cleaned up the mess he’d made. For once he was glad about his clan’s aversion to emotional messes; he must have woken someone with his yells, but nobody had come in to check. He was grateful for that at least.

Sitting back on his haunches, Shino pondered his problem. So far he’d got along with using taijutsu and ninjutsu on the solo mission he’d been on a few days ago, but he didn’t know what he’d do if he was on a team mission that required the use of his bugs.

Shino chided himself; he was being an idiot. Of course he’d use his bugs. Nothing as stupid as a genjutsu would stop an Aburame calling on the kikaichu in the field.

Nodding to himself, satisfied with his reasoning, Shino returned to his bed. He didn’t sleep.

 

It took another week before Shino was assigned another mission. His comrades were, of course, Hinata and Kiba again. Since the Konoha Twelve had graduated to chuunin, the Hokage was still reluctant to split up the teams that knew each others’ strengths and weaknesses. Even now graduated, more often than not Shino would find himself in the company of his genin team, and on especially hard missions, in the presence of Kurenai. Normally, this arrangement pleased Shino; he didn’t like the time it took to learn other shinobi’s quirks, especially on missions where time was limited. He already knew Kiba’s reaction time, Hinata’s range of jutsus, that they had his back and knew him just as well.

This time, though, the knowledge of who he was on a mission with set him on edge. He could only be thankful that Hinata was the team-leader this time, and not he. They were on a B rank mission – tracking down a chuunin missing-nin, who had a habit of vanishing without a trace. Team Eight were renowned in Konoha for their tracking abilities, hence the talent assigned to this task.

The three chuunin alighted on a tree, Kiba and Hinata on one branch and Shino on the one above. They were right on the outskirts of the forest; to the north lay mountains rife with caves, to the south hills where many travellers set up camps. A rive ran from the forest to the east. It was the best possible place to lose scent-trackers. Akamaru gave a loud bark and Kiba growled quietly.

“Akamaru’s lost him. I can’t smell him either – he must have taken a dive in the river.” He said. Hinata nodded.

“S-shino-kun, use your kikaichu to see if he went north or south.” She ordered.

It made sense, but Shino tensed at the order. Before he could think it through he’d answered back.

“Why don’t you use the byakugan? The distance should be no problem after your training.” It took all his years of training not to hit himself.

Hinata appeared taken aback at his questioning of her order.

“A-ah. W-well it’s true, b-but um, your kikaichu have a wid-d-der range a-and it would be f-faster…” She trailed off, as though she thought she was making a mistake.

“Of course. Forgive me.” Shino replied, chastising himself in his head.

Taking a few calming breaths, Shino urged the kikaichu from his skin. A hundred bisected legs crawled through his chakra system-

- _Hinata screaming as the bugs burrowed into her skin-_

-kikaichu rose in black drifts-

_-blocking out the sun, vampires sucking his friends dry, all because Shino was weak-_

-the buzz rising like the crescendo in an orchestral piece-

_-Akamaru collapsing first, then Kiba, like a puppet with cut strings, eyes boring holes into Shino’s skull as he watched helpless-_

-Shino couldn’t help it. He pulled the bugs back, forcing them back into his body. He gasped quietly, legs trembling, skin sweating as the memories of the genjutsu bombarded his brain, images flashing in front of his eyes of his kikaichu murdering his team-mates because of his lapse in control.

“Shino?” He heard Hinata ask. Of course, his friends were on the branch below him; they didn’t see the way his body was betraying him, the way he was trying so hard not to be sick at the flashbacks. Shino forced his voice to remain level.

“There’s something interfering with my kikaichu – they’re refusing my commands. Perhaps it’s some kind of trap jutsu left behind?” He inquired. He felt bad lying to his team-mates, but somehow he didn’t think ‘Oh I’m fine, just thinking about sucking your life force out of you until you’re just dry husks of flesh’ would go down well.

There was a quiet muttering from beneath him, although Shino wasn’t paying a lot of attention, concentrating instead on supressing his reactions. Shakily, he got to his feet again, trying to ignore the questioning buzz of the kikaichu inside him. He felt sick.

But it didn’t matter, because Shino was always alright.

 

It got worse after that. Oh they completed the mission, of course they did, but even back in Konoha, the mission had set something off. Many days Shino would have to supress the irrational urge to dig his nails into his skin, claw at himself until he could pick the bugs out of his chakra stream, until he could rid himself of these murderers, until the damn crawling stopped. It was driving him crazy.

To the average passer-by, Shino looked like every other Aburame (quite literally – even some shinobi couldn’t tell the clan members apart under the heavy coats and sunglasses). He seemed reserved as always. To anyone observing closely, who had known the boy for a long time, the change would have been startling.

Shino fidgeted. He had never fidgeted before, but now he couldn’t seem to calm down. He had to be on guard at all times, in case the kikaichu decided to revolt against him. The excess energy had nowhere to go, so he scuffed his feet and twitched his head and tapped his fingers.

He flinched too. So he wasn’t the most hands-on person on most days, but even Kiba going to throw an arm around his shoulder made the young man take a step back, sometimes avoiding the movement altogether in case the bugs could somehow sense his friend’s presence.

Oh, and he was paranoid. He was even _aware_ he was over-reacting to every little happening, he was over-thinking every friendly overture. But he couldn’t help it; if he relaxed, he knew, in the back of his mind, the kikaichu would- would-

He couldn’t risk it.

So he became even more of a recluse than previously. Before the Mission, he’d taken strolls through the market, perched on civilian rooftops to watch birds and insects share the skies. He’d gone out catching butterflies (a hobby he’d formed as a child and still indulged in, even if he wouldn’t admit it under pain of death). It wasn’t as if Shino had thrown parties, but he’d _lived_.

Now he restricted himself to the Aburame compound. He’d even turned down the next mission request, again with the Team Eight cell, excusing himself due to illness. Liar.

The damn bugs had turned him into a liar.

There weren’t many things Shino prided himself on, but his truthfulness was one of them. He didn’t see the point in lies. They simply muddied the already cloudy waters of life, making everything more difficult in the long run. Now even his truthfulness had been taken away from him, by the kikaichu.

 

Suddenly, he couldn’t stand it anymore. Without thinking, he expelled as much chakra as he could, driving every kikaichu from his body in one great wave. For a moment they hung under his bedroom ceiling, buzzing in confusion, before dispersing through the gap in his bedroom door, spreading through the Aburame compound.

Shino was overcome by a burst of dizziness. The empty feeling inside him, the lack of his lifelong companions, felt like a lead ball in his stomach. The chakra he’d expelled probably hadn’t helped either. Without realising it, Shino was slipping into darkness. Before the blackness creeping in at the corners of his vision claimed him, he heard the pounding of boots on the floor, and a brief glimpse of his father’s worried face as he slammed open the door. Then, nothing.

 

Shino woke to the sight of his bedroom’s square-tiled ceiling, and the low-key buzzing of his kikaichu running through his body. Despite his earlier actions, he was glad they were back – it had been a momentary lapse in sanity, a momentary cave in under the pressure he’d felt crushing him the past weeks. He decided he would have to work harder to quash his reactions to the feelings plaguing him. Slowly, as he blinked the grit from his eyes, his senses pinged off a close-by chakra signature. Shino just resisted groaning; his father was sitting beside him.

Under normal circumstances, when Shino had injured himself, his father would appear at one point or another, give him two or three choice words or advice, and then disappear for the rest of the boy’s convalescence. The fact that his father had decided to stay at his bedside did not bode well.

Shino mentally braced himself for the no-doubt awkward conversation that was bout to ensure. Levering himself upright so he was sitting in bed instead of lying, he patted about him for his sunglasses. While his eyes, like the rest of the clan, were sensitive to daylight, his room was heavily shaded, so he technically didn’t need them. But every Aburame knew that the eyes were the windows to the soul, and he was already in a precarious position; no way was he about to face his father without his glasses to hide behind.

When his questing hands didn’t find the shades, he reluctantly turned his head to the side. His dark eyes alighted on the profile of his father, who was decked out in his trademark coat and shades, head bent to study his lap, holding-

 _Ah_ , Shino thought, _looks like I’m not wearing the glasses for this conversation_.

“Shino.” His father stated. It was a greeting, an enquiry into how he was feeling, a warning and a sigh of relief all at once, wrapped in an even, toneless voice.

“Father.” He returned the greeting, indicated that he was well, admitted his guilt and apologised for any trouble caused in that one word.

“This is unacceptable.” To most people that might sound harsh, but coming from an Aburame, it was nearly an entire exchange where his father berated him for his foolish attitude. Shino felt appropriately scolded for his disregard of his kikaichu and his attitude towards his duty since _that_ mission.

“You scared me.” For a moment Shino contemplated the idea that he was still dreaming. Perhaps he had ingested some kind of hallucinogenic substance accidentally? He tried to recall if anything out of the ordinary had happened that day, apart from his trying to deny his identity.

Then it struck him. This wasn’t just about his casual treatment of the kikaichu. The only time every single kikaichu leaves an Aburame’s body was when they had died. That, coupled with his antisocial, depressive behaviour recently...It was no wonder his father had looked so panicked when he’d seen him before passing out. Shino had thought he must have imagined that too.

“Apologies.” No more was necessary. No Aburame apologised unless they meant it. His father just nodded.

“You had a mission tomorrow. You will not go.” Shino understood that this was his chance – this is where he told his father about what _that_ mission had done to him. This was his chance to confess about his nightmares, about his inability to love his kikaichu as he was meant to. This was his chance to disappoint his father, to show how low the heir of the clan had fallen. The silence stretched.

“This will not happen again.”

“Understood.” Shino watched as his father nodded again and walked out of the room, the door shutting behind him with a decisive click. As soon as the man was gone, tension began to wind its way back up Shino’s spine, as his mind had no distraction from the disgusting crawling sensation under his skin. So he couldn’t get rid of them, that much he’d learnt today. He couldn’t stand them inside of him, but that hollow feeling, that rush of dizziness when they had left – that was worse.

Shino would figure something out, but he wouldn’t tell his father. Because Shino was always alright.

 

Despite his irritable symptoms, Shino hadn’t had an actual nightmare about the genjustu for a while. Unfortunately, it seemed his encounter with his father had brought the illusion back to the forefront of his mind.

 

_The rush of anger like a volcano reaching eruption time-_

_The hungry slurp of the kikaichu as they feasted on chakra, strangely reminding Shino of Naruto scarfing down bowls of ramen at Ichiraku’s-_

_The limpness of his friends’ bodies, except they were joined this time by his father, unnaturally still for all he wasn’t an energetic person in life-_

Thrashing in his bed, Shino was woken by the constricting sheets he’d tangled himself up in during his dreams. Dropping back onto his mattress bonelessly, he studied the ceiling, much as he had when he’d collapsed yesterday. Perhaps there was some answer hidden in that grid-like formation of beams and plastered paper, the answer to little ninja problem. He felt uncomfortably young again, like when he’d entered the chuunin exam the first time and seen the terrifying-looking adults they would be facing. And like in this case, he’d had to put on a stoic face, undaunted by the hundred stares turned their way, the animalistic eyes that followed the young genin around the room, studying the prey for the right time to strike. That was the first time Shino had regretted getting rid of the hooded coat he’d worn at the academy. Well, he frowned, he that that coat back now, but it wasn’t doing him any good.

He sighed, the small sound drifting into the stillness of the night. Outside he could hear crickets faintly chirping among the high grass around the Aburame compound.

After his… _episode_ , as he’d overheard his father called it when talking to Shino’s cousin, the clan had started walking on eggshells around him. It wouldn’t be noticeable to an outsider, but every family member he’d walked past on his way to the kitchen or to the bathroom, had muffled their steps. For any ninja, the home was the one place they didn’t have to concern themselves with stealth, and the Aburame clan, for all their eccentricities, were no different. Except for now. Now they all acted as though they were on an S-Rank mission, for kami’s sake. Not only that, they were muffling their kikaichu too. Shino didn’t know how much his father had told them about why he’d collapsed, but they obviously knew it had something to do with his own kikaichu. When he’d passed cousin Muta earlier, the buzz and hum of the kikaichu and shoukaichu had immediately stopped when Shino had passed him, as though his cousin had worried he would somehow set the younger Aburame off. The same had happened when he’d met up with cousin Tatsuma on his way to the garden. His family were treating him as though he were a time bomb.

It had understandably made the house seem stifling, although Shino supposed that it was his own fault.

But this also meant that the sanctuary he’d retreated to to stop his kikaichu harming anyone was also likely to trigger a reaction. It started to become clear to the reluctant chuunin that there was only one solution to his problem.

Shino was going to have to get help.

Because Shino was not alright.

For the first time in- Shino had to quickly calculate for a moment- 25 days, the team formerly known as Team 8, gathered on their usual training ground. Shino had avoided it since _then_ , as it had only served to trigger flashbacks to the illusion, which had taken place there. But now, since he had decided to face up to what was happening, it seemed appropriate. Strangely enough, he wasn’t the one who had gathered the others – it had been Kiba. With his sister about to have a baby, the Inuzuka household had become tense and waspish, and Kiba had gathered his friends for company that wasn’t about to bite his head off. Shino had grasped the opportunity, not only to escape his own family, but also so he could talk to them without inviting them out himself. This was going to be humiliating enough without shocking them being so forward as to ask his friends to hang out. Perhaps that was telling of how far Shino had withdrawn after the mission, or perhaps that was simply telling of the young ninja’s personality.

They were currently lounging about in silence. Hinata had climbed up a tree and was sitting on a wide bough not too high up from where the boys were sitting against the trunk, Shino with his legs straight and back up against the bark, and Kiba with his head on his friend’s shins, studying the sky. Kiba had just finished complaining about how his arm was still stinging from where Tsuma had punched him for being a no-good layabout (“Just because I forgot to get the groceries!” “T-twice.” “Okay, yeah, twice, but _still_ , Ma punched really _hard_.”).

Shino decided now was as good a chance as any.

“What did you two see under the genjustsu?” He asked quietly. His friends made equal noises of confusion. Of course, the incident he was referring to probably needed a bit of clarification, since it obviously hadn’t been on their minds as much as his.

“That mission, six weeks ago.” He clarified. Immediately, he could sense a change coming over his friends, Hinata tensing above him and Kiba letting out a small breath. At his side, Akamaru whined and pocked his nose into his partner’s cheek.

Shino thought for a moment they wouldn’t answer him. He didn’t want to push them, but he did want to know about their experience so he could measure his own against theirs. If it turned out he was over-reacting, he would cut short the conversation then and there.

In the end it was Hinata who spoke first.

“I-it’s silly, b-but I was a-at home a-and father was there a-and Neji-nii-san a-and even H-hanabi and they a-all hated me. F-father s-struck me and t-told me what a d-d-disappointment I w-was and h-how I was so u-useless I should just d-d-“ She didn’t finish the sentence, but Shino got the gist. He understood why it had such a big impact on Hinata – she’d always battled with her shyness when her father wouldn’t stop pushing her beyond perfection in the Academy. Then, the strong bond she’d forged with the Hyuuga branch heir, to have that go back to that hateful relationship they’d had at the chuunin exams…no, experiencing that much disapproval from her family would have struck deeply at Hinata’s core. It would have absolutely destroyed the confidence she’s built within herself these past years. Kurenai was right to bring her to counselling, Shino nodded to himself.

“It’s not silly. Everyone’d weaknesses are different; you are strong in that they didn’t defeat you.” Shino said, and he heard a small sniffle from the branch above him. He tried to ignore the irony in what he’d said.

Kiba shifted and the back of his skull dug uncomfortably into Shino’s shins – not that they could be too comfortable for his friend’s head in the first place, Shino considered. The Inuzuka cleared his throat quietly.

“Mine was, uh, I dunno, I suppose it wouldn’t sound like much to you guys but, Akamaru died. I thought that damn nin had stuck him with poison and he was dying and I couldn’t help him and- well, we Inuzukas don’t do well without out dogs, do we, buddy?” Kiba asked. Akamaru gave a little yip before jumping on his partner’s chest, licking long stripes on his face. He really was getting too big for that, Shino thought, he must be crushing Kiba. But after what he just said, I doubt he minds.

Many shinobi failed to understand the strong bonds between the Inuzukas and their partner dogs. It went beyond simply pets, or even summons. Simply because the dogs couldn’t speak didn’t make them less of a friend to their human. Shino always thought of it as having a human friend who couldn’t speak your language. It didn’t suddenly make you incapable of loving them as a brother, or being torn through the core at their death. Akamaru had always been able to understand Shino without words, even if they didn’t always agree. The Aburame got the impression Kiba’s partner thought he was wasting his youth if he wasn’t rolling around in meadows and chasing bit- excuse me, girls.

“W-we understand, K-kiba. W-we would miss Akamaru t-too.” Hinata said from above him. Shino nodded without even thinking about it. If he were to disappear, he _would_ miss the dog, that big slobbery mess of noise, shedding dog hair everywhere. He really was as much part of the team as any of the three humans.

There was a moment when both expected Shino to talk about his own experience. He got a strange sense of déjà vu when his father had silently expected the same. That time he’d said nothing, this time he knew he had to, else lose his courage and carry this around forever.

“I killed you.” Shino said. Tell them, quick and clinical and painless, like a scalpel. _Painless_ , he tried to convince himself, even as a full-body shiver ran through him against his will. Admitting it, out loud, in the bright sunlight, with his victims right beside him, suddenly triggered everything he’d tried to avoid in the last weeks, blowing his issues right to the surface. He could feel the kikaichu responding to his sudden rush of distress, fighting to crawl to the surface. Behind his glasses, Shino’s eyes flew wide open as one escaped. They were escaping and Kiba and Hinata were _right there-_

“Geez man, are you okay?” Suddenly Kiba’s face was mere inches from his own, and over his shoulder Shino could see Hinata, who had come down from her branch, bottom lip caught between her teeth as she worried at it. He hadn’t even noticed.

“I’m alright.” He said. His friend’s eyes narrowed.

“Bullshit. Shino you look like you’re about to pass out.”

 _What?_ It was only then that Shino realised his breaths had come shallower and faster against his will. Black spots were crowding his eyes, puffing out of existence only when he gulped down a large burst of air, much needed oxygen suddenly rushing into his lungs. The reserved Aburame dreaded what a weak mess he must look to his friends at that moment.

Indeed, Hinata and Kiba weren’t happy.

“Is this what this has all been about? Why you’ve been locking yourself away for days?” His face must have betrayed some surprise because Kiba gave a quick huff of unamused laughter.

“Yeah, you weren’t getting away with that so easily. End of the week Hinata and I were going to drag you out of your stuffy house ourselves, with force if necessary.” He added. Akamaru seemed to bark in agreement.

For some reason, the idea of that sent a rush of warmth through Shino. He should be angry that his friends would go against his wishes like that but instead, the fact that they knew him well enough to notice him being more withdrawn than before, the fact that they _cared_ …Shino hadn’t thought anyone really would. No words would come to his lips at that moment.

Kiba settled back on his haunches, while Hinata sat down in a lotus position to Shino’s right. Even Akamaru padded over to his right, putting his head on Shino’s thigh. Absently, long figures began carding through his white fur.

“Seriously, man. Is this still about the genjutsu?” Kiba asked, frowning.

Still. _Still_. Was he still hung up on that? Shino should have known he was making a big fuss over nothing. He was about to fish for some excuse to run away from the conversation, when Hinata leaned closer into his shoulder. His friend seemed to anchor him, and Kiba’s frown seemed to deepen, as though he could read Shino’s thoughts.

“What happened?” Hinata’s quiet voice asked, gently trying to coax the story from Shino. And without his conscious thought, he found himself speaking.

“We’re a team again, we’re training. I accidentally- I accidentally hurt you and…I become angry. The kikaichu they- they react to my emotions. They were savage, I was angry- before I could do anything you three, sometimes Father too, you were de- I couldn’t _do anything_ -“ Shino wondered how they could understand a word he was saying, considering how many gaps and stops and starts there were in that little speech. His friends obviously got the idea, because suddenly Hinata was hugging him, lavender from her shampoo invading Shino’s sense. Over Hinata’s shoulder he could see Kiba looking thunderstruck. Akamaru whined and licked his hand. Under his skin, the kikaichu were scrabbling to rise to the surface. He couldn’t let them, not when his friends were so _close-_

“Is this why- you bastard, is this why you’ve been avoiding us?” Shino just resisted flinching as Kiba spat out that sentence. Hinata’s arms tightened around him.

“You didn’t tell us, you didn’t tell _anyone_ and you thought, what, that you could just deal with this yourself? Arrogant bastard, why didn’t you _tell us_?” He could see Kiba’s hands clenching, nails digging into his palms.

“W-we would have helped you, Shino-kun.” Hinata whispered. She finally withdrew, and her fine brows were creased with worry as she looked at him, scanning him as though his mental distress had left physical marks she could pick out from under his coats.

“It was my fault-“ _For not being stronger, for not being able to tell the difference between reality and illusion._

“Stop! Just, stop it, Shino. You haven’t got rid of this for six weeks and we, we didn’t do anything either. And I’m sorry for that.” Kiba put his hand over Shino’s mouth just as he was about to open it and say it wasn’t their fault.

“Right now, I don’t want to hear it. Today, today is for us three, but tomorrow we’re getting you help. And me and Akamaru and Hinata are going with you and making sure you get there.”

“Doctor Raku is very n-nice.” Hinata assured him, a soft contrast against Kiba’s harsh orders.

Even as Kiba withdrew his hand, Shino could say nothing. Hinata’s worry and Kiba’s comfort, indelicate as it was, were like a double blow, momentarily knocking all self-doubt out of his head, replacing it with warmth. His friends cared about him beyond what he’d thought, they had heard his troubles and taken them to heart as if they could feel what he had. In that instant, Shino knew this little family he had loved him as much as he did them, and that discovery alone made six weeks of nightmares and self-hatred worth it.

 

The three of them spent the day together, lounging in the training ground, visiting Ichiraku’s, stopping by to watch some colourful street performers, and at the end of the day, all three piling into Kiba’s room at the Inuzuka compound for the night. Despite Kiba’s complaining about his family’s snippy attitude, nobody had objected to Hinata and Shino staying over for the night; perhaps their delicate canine senses had picked up on the worry and protectiveness of the trio. Shino had been glad that he hadn’t had to go back to graveyard-like family home that night, and Hinata refused to leave the two. Since the Hyuuga family would most certainly _not_ allow their little flower to keep night company with two men, they were lucky the Inuzukas were so accommodating. When the nightmares hit again that night (and how could they not, with Shino’s victims laying beside him, so very close despite having separate bedrolls), his two friends were there to reassure him that a genjutsu was nothing more than that; an illusion.

 

The next day, despite his quiet reluctance, Hinata, Kiba and Akamaru escorted Shino down to T&I’s psychology department. As he stood outside the office door, Hinata on one side and Kiba on the other, the kikaichu buzzed with a vengeance.

But it didn’t matter, because, eventually, Shino would be alright.


End file.
